


5 times wade ran into Courscant's own vigilante, the Arachnid

by Dr_Fumbles_McStupid



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-07-29 07:08:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20078182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dr_Fumbles_McStupid/pseuds/Dr_Fumbles_McStupid
Summary: Just what is says on the tin. A spideypool AU set in the star wars universe where Wade is still a mercenary and peter is still your friendly neighborhood arachnid.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks to [chickengoesmoo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChickenGoesMoo/pseuds/ChickenGoesMoo) and [Orange_Coyote](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orange_Coyote/pseuds/Orange_Coyote) for betaig and plotting with me.

The job was simple, find out Dr. Rictind’s normal schedule, set up shop with a blaster rifle a level or two above him, and shoot him up with a mild poison. The whole thing would look like a heart attack. It was easy money, which was why he took the job. After tailing the man for nine days he was maybe just slightly regretting taking this job, just the tiniest bit. He usually researched his jobs, but the dollar to work ratio had been so good he had jumped on it before someone else could. So here he was, set up to shoot the good doc with Manax-Root, a good subtle poison that he had used many a time before for the old ‘_ Oh no, poison, definitely not poison, this was just a heart attack _ ’ gag. He had even ordered some dissolving darts to help with the clean up. But this guy was just _ too good _. Not good in that he was avoiding Deadpool, no one was that good forever. But good in that he wasn't just a normal healer, he was paying for medicine out of his own pocket and giving it to the poorer people of this sector for peanuts, sometimes literal peanuts when the patients couldn't pay. But a mercenary is only as good as his name, so he had to see the job through. So Wade might be secretly hoping that the guy who had had a clockwork schedule for the past week would change it up now. In the bottom of his admittedly shriveled up heart, he was hoping he might have decided to take a sick day for himself. But of course he was not that lucky, kriff when had luck ever been on the mercenary's side?

The short portly man was just leaving his apartment, coat on and worn leather bag in hand. Wade sighed and set up the shot and waited. He had time to kill; he had 3.7 minutes before the good doctor would be out of sight, on his route to his first patient. Wade was just waiting for the perfect shot, he clearly wasn't waiting for some kind of divine intervention. Not at all, because despite how much time he spent with the Jedi, he knew the force didn't have a divine plan for anyone. Including this unlucky dumb fuck who just got on someone’s bad side. 

Wade sighed and lined up the shot. He only had 30 more seconds until the Corelian was out of range for good. He blew out and rested his hand on the trigger and three… two… one. Just as he pulled the trigger something grabbed the barrel of his blaster and yanked it wildly off course and continued to yank it right out of his hand. “Shit, shit, shit!” Wade cursed as he windmilled wildly trying to get his blaster rifle back. That was a DC-15A and it cost him a damned pretty penny! But even as he scrambled after his gun, a red and blue blur came flying towards him feet first. He arched backwards and just missed the kick to his head. Wade followed his momentum from the backbend and pushed himself into a handstand muscles bunching with the strain of the movement, only to be greeted with someone? Something? In dusky red and blue clothes. Kind of a wild fashion statement there my dude, not the best colors for a mercenary, or someone who was going to tangle with one. He was one to talk with the red and black, but Wade was also certifiably unkillable and more than a little bit insane.

The red and blue clad thing came at him again and Wade lost his balance. He collapsed onto his side only to be greeted by a knee to the face and then blackness.

* * *

When Wade imagined meeting the infamous Arachnid of Coruscant, it was most definitely under different circumstances. You might even say under happy circumstances. Tied to a power conductor with an unknown sticky substance and being yelled at, possibly being lectured -- He wasn't paying much attention to what the vigilante was actually saying, didn't make the list. Number one on the list was a scenario where he saved the man? Woman? Spider? Robot?-- He was getting distracted, back to the important thing: his fantasy!!! Save the Arachnid from some sort of trouble! And then they could’ve fought the bad guys off together!!!

“Hey, are you even paying attention?” an inhuman voice, possibly distorted by a modulator, jarred him out of his thoughts. “I was trying to tell you why killing Mr. Rictind would be bad. And not just bad because ya know, killing is bad, but bad because HE SUPPLIES LOW INCOME HEALING TREATMENT FOR THIS WHOLE WARD!” The Arachnid emphasized their words with sharp pointed movements, their red and blue clad arms gesturing to the district around him. Their voice rose with irritation the longer they spoke.

Wade tried to raise his hands in reassurance, but his arms were pinned to his side. “Woah, woah, nothing personal Mr. bug, it was just a job! I don’t-”

“But is personal to u-, to them!” they interrupted. They weren't flailing anymore; their whole body was tense as a live wire, fine tremors making dusky red sleeves tremble. “It is personal to this block! Don’t you understand that if you kill him, people will die? These people can’t afford to go to a healer’s ward! They need Mr. Rictind!” They ended their impassioned speech, and Kriff, Wade might be a tiny bit persuaded, and not by the fact that his new obsession was talking to him, but because they maybe, possibly, had a little bit of a point. A point that wade had maybe already been making to himself as he had tailed the doctor.

Wade remembered growing up in the slums of Malastare and how he couldn't afford to go to the Med bay when his pops went off on him. He shifted back against the power conductor and weighed his options. As a mercenary, he was only as good as his word, but the arachnid did make a point, and he hadn’t spent any of the money up front, so he could wire it back. “Okay Mr. Bug” the Arachnid made a disgruntled noise at this, but before they could open their mouth Wade plowed on like a bantha towards its feed. “I feel you, I am buying what you are selling, I’ll leave the guy alone.”

The arachnid crossed their arms and looked back at Wade disbelievingly, and damn their tech was good! The goggles moved and even conveyed expression. Either this wasn't a person, but a super sick advanced droid, or they had access to some amazing tech. “See I don’t actually believe you. I want to, but I know your reputation. So I think I’m just going to leave you here and leave an anonymous message on the holonet for the Jedi temple. A little birdie told me you work for them sometimes, and I don’t think they would want to keep ties with someone who would kill an innocent healer."

Wade sighed and slouched forward as much as he could while being tied to a power conductor that was starting to _ really _ dig into his lower back. And man that kid? -- Droid? Thing? Bug, he was just going to stick with bug, it was less confusing for everyone that way -- had no idea what the Jedi got up to sometimes did he? But it would still be a major pain in his ass if the Temple heard what he was doing. Master Cable would never let him hear the end of it.

“How about instead of calling the Jedi temple, you just believe me and let me go?The Jedi have important stuff to do, negotiating peace treaties, chopping off limbs with lightsabers, ya know the drill. Much more important than dealing with me. I give you my word that I will leave the good doc alone okay? If you know my reputation you know what my word is worth." The bug shifted from leg to leg, clearly considering his words. Yes! He was the best, the most persuasive! Wade should have been a Jedi himself; he was already good at chopping off limbs, and clearly his negotiation skills were legendary!

“Here’s the thing...” the arachnid started, “I actually already called this in as soon as I saw you, so I'm just gonna go.” The words poured out so fast that it took Wade a second to understand what they were saying with the voice distortion. "Sorry…” The arachnid trailed off, goggles narrowing in concentration. After a moment of stillness they said with conviction “Actually I’m not. You were going to kill Dr. Rictind and I am really really busy today.” As soon as they stopped speaking they started walking backwards to the open space between the walkways of the level.

“Busy with what? It’s the middle of the day! Crime isn't happening, well other crimes aren’t happening right now!” Wade argued, desperate not to be left tied to this force damned power conductor. His words must have hit home because the Arachnid stopped at the lip of the ledge.

“You know crime fighting isn’t actually my full time job right? I am not getting paid for this.” He gestured from himself to Wade.

“No, you mean you aren’t an independently wealthy orphan with strong moral views dedicated to cleaning up the crooked streets of Coruscant? Mr. Bug, you are dashing all my dreams!” Wade cried out, falling forward until he was cutting off circulation in his arms. A mechanical noise burst from the Arachnid’s mask, and could that be a laugh!?!! Had Wade made them laugh?!!

“Unfortunately not, so I have to split!” The arachnid said as they stepped backwards off the ledge and disappeared from Wade’s view. The sound of hydraulics going off assured him that the Arachnid was safe.

“You should join me on one of my jobs next time, it certainly pays better than being a freelance crime fighter!!" Wade yelled as the sound of hydraulics and something cutting through the air grew fainter and fainter. Then as an afterthought “Shit! You still have my blaster!!! I need that!!"

* * *

Wade had been tied to this stupid power conducter for so long that two of courascants four moons had set. He had long ago stopped struggling to get free of the sticky material keeping him captive and resigned himself to a night in the mid level residential district. Aside from the mind numbing boredom, the worst part was his arms and legs stuck in a continuous loop of losing feeling and painfully sparking back to full feeling. He had just managed to calm his rapid fire thoughts enough to drowse when the familiar smells of spice and cedarwood assaulted his nose. Cigarillo smoke. FUCK, the little brat had gone through with his threat and left a holomessage for the jedi. Wade started to struggle and as the smell came closer he decided that fuck it, he would put off this conversation for as long as he could. He brought his head forward and listened to the air whistle past as he went to slam it into the power conductor. Death would be better than a meeting with this particular jedi. Actually maybe not, but temporary death was certainly worth it to put it off until he could escape. Just as his head would have impacted the durasteel casing, he found himself frozen in place. 

“I’m hurt bub. You would really rather die than have a talk with your old pal?” Jedi master Logan strolled into view, his unhurried languid pace telling Wade that this would be a long conversation.

“You know, restraining people with the force is considered a dark practice by many force users. I thought you were a Jedi, Master Howlett.” Glee warmed the cockles of Wade’s heart at the annoyed look on Logan’s face.

“We’ve been over this kid, call me Logan. And Just because most people ascribe to Master Pharra’s teachings of the force doesn't mean they’re right. You've experienced the dark side of the force and you forcedamned know this isn't it.”

“I thought Jedi were supposed to respect the force, not speak its name in vain or whatever.” Wade continued to poke the prickly beast, hoping that he would snap and something entertaining would finally happen.

Logan looked away for a moment and took a long puff of his Cigarillo, blowing the fragrant smoke out into the darkening night. Then sudden as a sandstorm on Tatooine, he spun around and in one motion his claws came out and sliced through the material holding Wade hostage. 

Wade fell over as his body worked overtime to bring feeling back to his limbs. “Owww, you cut me! You should be more careful with those things!” Wade moaned as he shook the pins and needles from his arms. He almost preferred regrowing a limb to this shit.

“Says the guy who was about to brain himself on a power conductor.” Logan snorted.

“Well a little Arachnid told me he sent the authorities after me and being a loyal Bro, I thought death was better than being a snitch.” Wade said as he pushed himself up to standing.

Logan’s eyebrows ascended towards his hairline in surprise. “You saying it was the Arachnid who left you tied up like a gift for us to find?” He asked voice incredulous.

“What else do you know of that could make a substance like that?” Wade asked darkly, pointing towards the forcedammed substance that had held him captive for the last five hours. And from this angle he didn't know how he hadn't noticed its suspicious similarities to a Force damned spider's webs. And Logan, the jerk, wasn't even looking where Wade was pointing, he was just fixing the mercenary with a scrutinizing look that made Wade think he was being examined with more than Logan’s eyes. 

“You know no one from the order has gotten him to stop and talk to us. As soon as a Jedi appears on the scene he is outta there faster than you can say --”

“Well I would do the same thing if I were him, but just because of one rescue mission it seems that I have been unfairly adopted by the order. And before you ask, I learned nothing, I don't even know if they are a bot or a sentient,” Wilson said defensively.

Logan pointed his cigarillo at him. “You know the Arachnid left a longer message detailing why you were tied to a power conductor, but a large part of it was scrambled beyond recognition by the time we got to it. You have any idea why that is?"

Wade preened for a moment. The arachnid must have gone back and hacked his own message. The little shit really did believe him. Logan’s eyes narrowed at Wade’s expression and the Mercenary quickly rearranged his body language to one of a bewildered man. His body clearly said ‘_ I have no idea why that would have happened, no sir Mr. Jedi knight sir _.’ Just as he was about to open his mouth to speak what his body language was so clearly saying, Logan rolled his eyes and took a puff of his quickly dwindling Cigarillo.

“Fine Pal, keep your secrets to yourself. Just know that some members of the council are interested in this arachnid and what exactly his deal is.” Logan said as he put out his cigarillo on the power conductor Wade had previously been tied to.

“I’ll keep that cryptic bit of information in mind for the next time I run into the Arachnid which should be next, oh wait, I never want to see their dirty little mug again. Leaving me tied to a kriffing Power conductor for hours on end,” Wade mumbled, kicking the named power conductor.

Logan sent him an unimpressed look before turning and walking away in the same unhurried pace in which he arrived. Fine be the second person to walk away from him today, Wade had things to do too. Important mercenary things. Things like finding out more about the arachnid


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to [chickengoesmoo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChickenGoesMoo/pseuds/ChickenGoesMoo) and [Orange_Coyote](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orange_Coyote/pseuds/Orange_Coyote) for betaig and plotting with me.

When Peter had gone out for patrol that night, the last thing he expected was to run into one of the most infamous mercenaries this side of Dathromir. But run into Deadpool he did, again. Ever since he had stopped the man from assassinating Dr. Rictind it seemed like the man had been everywhere, Peter couldn't go a single week without running into him. He had done his best to get away from the other man quickly any time their paths crossed because the Mercenary was _obsessed_ with him. He would try to start conversations asking annoying things like ‘What _is_ your day job anyway?’, or ‘Where did you get your sweet, sweet suit?’ and the barrage just went on and on. And Peter not responding did not affect the torrent of questions. It never did, But Peter couldn't exactly up and run from this situation like he usually did. He was in the middle of a full out brawl with the Black sun. The budding group had its fingers in all sorts of black market goods, and their hold on the spice market was their newest budding enterprise. He had been tracking this spice ring for months and he wasn't going to let the fact that Deadpool was here run him off. He needed to get that spice off the street and away from the hands of the very impressionable youths of his district.

“On your left Mr. Bug!” The merc shouted just as a blaster bolt screeched by Peter’s left bicep, leaving a scorch mark on his freshly repaired suit. Peter flicked his wrist and a jet of webbing shot out and attached itself to the blaster that had almost singed him. With a harsh yank, the gun flew out of the Rodian’s hands and towards Peter. “Nice one Mr. Bug Man.” Deadpool Gasped and clapped in excitement before turning to face Peter. “Are you a man though? I mean you could be a woman or a droid?” The other man turned away from the fight to put all of his attention on Peter. “Or like not go by Human gender definitions! I am so inconsiderate!!!”

“If I answer your question will you please FOCUS ON THE FIGHT!” Petter yelled as he disabled the blaster and then used it to hit a woman with some impressive bionic enhancements in the face.

“Yes! I promise I will put forth Maximum effort for this fight.” Deadpool said excitedly, waiting with bated breath for Peter’s response

“I’m a man, and please just call me The Arachnid,” Peter yelled as the woman grabbed the hand Peter had wrapped around the gun in a vice-like grip. She turned a feral grin Peter’s way as cooling from a broken tube dripped down her face. Shit, this was not going well. The woman reached out one freakishly strong arm and grabbed Peter by the neck before he could do anything. As Peter started to struggle he heard the whine of a weapon powering up and then the woman shrieked. And HOLY SHIT! Her arm was gone. Peter frantically looked for the source of the attack and he saw Deadpool with a massive gun that looked like nothing Peter had ever seen before. 

“You better close that mouth or you’re gonna start catching flies,” Deadpool said smugly. “Or wait, spiders do eat flies so that doesn't work so --- SHIT!, You fucker, you shot me during my joke!” The mercenary yelled and aimed the massive gun at the Roidian’s head. The Rodian peter had just disarmed. Why did the bad guys always have a backup blaster? But clearly, that was no the most pressing issue here

“WAIT! Don’t kill Him. Only incapacitate him!” Peter yelled just before Wade pulled the trigger. 

“I have full permission to kill as many of these fuckers as I need to.” Deadpool counters in a whiney voice as he re-aims his gun at the terrified Rodian’s head.

“Well you don’t _need_ to kill them, just disarm and incapacitate okay,” Peter says in as stern as a voice as he can manage. But this has the opposite effect and Deadpool hunches over giggling.

“You said disarm,” He wheezes “And I disarmed her!” He hunches over further and starts slapping his knee, his whole body shaking with laughter. “She has no - Oh shit”. Deadpool stops cold and peter suddenly sees why. The Rodian he had been aiming his gun at now has the gun and is aiming it right at Deadpool.

Shit, shit, shit, wasn't this man supposed to be a professional? How could he be so dumb, how could PETER be so dumb? Think Peter, think! But nothing is coming to mind and then suddenly the force is screaming at him and he has to do something. Peter lifts his hand and on instinct reaches out for something nebulous, it keeps slipping through his fingers until THERE. He grabs it and harnesses the energy and points it towards the Rodian who is just about to pull the trigger. Time seems to slow down as Peter lets go. A huge rush of energy leaves his palm with a whoosh and shoves the man into the warehouse wall so forcefully peter hears something snap. Peter winces and hopes the Rodian is okay. He quickly sprints over to where he fell and secures him to the wall with webbing and takes the strange weapon to examine.

After a few seconds of silence where Peter tries to figure out just what the kirff this thing was, he realizes that it is _silent_ and turns to look at Deadpool who is standing stock still and staring at peter. And oh shit was he hit! He rushes over to the other man. “Are you hurt?” He asks. And then stays stock still because the other man is just staring straight at him with a look that spells nothing good for Peter.

“You used the force.” Deadpool accuses. And shit. Shit, shit, shit, this is not what Peter wanted. This is the OPPOSITE! Of what Peter wanted. The longer Peter stays silent, the surer the other man’s body language becomes.

“No I didn't.” Peter objects. And denial, denial is the game. Deadpool can't prove anything.

“Sure you didn't.” the mercenary says sarcastically. “And if not the force what did you use?”

Peter starts to sweat under the suit, and damn the man, Peter hates sweating in the suit this much, he still hasn't figured out the thermoregulation for it yet. “I uh, I used ..” Peter fishes for something, anything he can use to refute the other man’s claim. “I used a weapon on my suit.” He replies, and as he says it, it hits him. The Stark weapons repulsor can function like that. “It’s a repulsor.” He said confidently and crosses his arms, daring Deadpool to defy him.

“Sure it is. Because repulsor tech can bend around one object to hit another.” Deadpool says as he walks around the warehouse tying people up.

“Obviously its,” Peter stammers “It’s a modified repulsor, I make all my tech.” 

Deadpool stands up and points at peter, “That last part I believe, I haven't seen anything like your suit. But what you used was damn well not a repulsor. I know Stark tech, and that was not it, not even modified Stark tech” 

In several quick movements Deadpool is up in Peter’s personal space, towering over him, and damn it, Peter was just short of average height for a human male, why was this man so stupidly tall. Also built, he was super built, and even his bulky outfit couldn't hide that. And Peter was not checking the mercenary out okay? He was clearly just jealous that he couldn't bulk up like that. The man leaned even closer and Peter wanted to take a few steps backward, but he wasn't going to budge. If this was a game of chicken, he wasn't losing.

“You know what else I happen to be pretty familiar with Mr. Bug.” Peter opened his mouth to correct him but the Mercenary corrected himself first “Sorry, Mr. Arachnid. Dang, that is a mouthful, I’ll have to come up with a nickname for you later. But that is beside the point. As I was saying before you so rudely tried to interrupt me, I am also pretty intimately familiar with the force. And that thing you did to the Rodian over there.” The taller man leaned down to put his lips next to Peter’s ear. “That was definitely the Force.” he whispers.

And Peter has had enough of this. He braces both hands on Deadpool’s chest and pushed with one sharp movement that sends Deadpool stumbling back a few steps. “I don’t know what you are talking about, only Jedi can use the force, and I am clearly not a Jedi. Aren’t they all about remaining impartial or something?”

“Impartial my ass, Jedi are terrible at staying impartial. Using a holier than thou attitude to get out of helping people? Now that they excel at.” Deadpool stated as he steadied himself and reached to get out his commlink. He paused for a second while he was typing something and as he slid it back into his utility belt with a click he said faux casually. “You're pretty strong for your size. One might even say unusually strong, like someone imbued with the force.”

And Peter was more than done. He started making his way to the door. Wade had clearly already commed someone to clean up this mess, Peter wasn’t needed here anymore. “Like I would listen to you Deadpool, you don't know what you’re talking about.

“It’s Wade,” Deadpool called out in a soft tentative voice that made Peter stop in his tracks.

“What?” Peter asked, turning around to face the other man.

“You saved my life, people who do that get to call me by name. I’m Wade Wilson.” Wade said with a blinding smile, and okay that dimple was unfairly attractive. Peter started blushing, and he was so glad for the mask right now, because not only was it protecting his identity, it was protecting his dignity. Wade was waiting there smiling so prettily, and offering his name? What kind of Merc does that? That is so dangerous and stupid, and.. and… nice. Peter couldn’t take it, if he stayed here any longer he was either going to combust or do something incredibly stupid. So he went to the door to leave, he did have other things to check in on anyway. But he paused before he left and said: “Nice to meet you, Wade.” Without turning around before speeding as quickly as he could out of there. Which on second thought might have been unwise, he might have used the force to move more quickly than he should have. 

Just as he was turning down the block to leave he heard a faint “Nice to meet you too Baby boy”, and almost tripped off the edge of the walkway into the gap between because his heart was beating triple time. 


End file.
